butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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