Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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