Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
