we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
