Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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