My entire life is one complicated drinking game
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
