Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
