I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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