Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
