I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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