i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
