I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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