so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize