Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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