the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
not ubering you a puppy
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
