i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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