Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
wow bdsm is so cute
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
