I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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