please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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