You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
