well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
