She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
We're too hungover to prance.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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