Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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