I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
