Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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