i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
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