ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
