i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
