I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
