We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
