Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
