I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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