That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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