Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
