why didn't you poke me back
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
