my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
