when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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