alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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