I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
