at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
