I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
