can we get nightvision for the apartment?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
