I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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