well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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