ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
