So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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