Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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