There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
