biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I love having hate sex.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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