I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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