Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
