I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
