sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
