remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
