We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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