after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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