The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
