i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Your penis caused this!
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