i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
