If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
FUCK WHALES
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
