i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize