she woke up with a sticky ear
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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