i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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