Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
