he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
