Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
