brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
